Translated into English by Shayna McHugh

Source: Capoeira-Infos.org  

I have here in my pocket a remedy against the capoeiristas. I have no doubt that it is a miraculous cure, perhaps even containing the secret to immortality. Now that the city guard has been disbanded, having turned in their rifles yesterday, some fear that there will be an explosion of capoeira, while others hope that the disbanding of the guard is enough to make the evil retreat. You’ll have to excuse me: I am on the side of the fear rather than the hope, not so much because I believe there will be an explosion of capoeira, but mainly because I want to sell my remedy.

Let’s talk about my remedy. We’ll start by saying that I disagree with all my peers about the motive that leads the capoeirista to drive knives into our bellies. They say that the capoeiristas enjoy doing evil, showing agility and bravery. This is a unanimous opinion, and one that is respected as the truth. But no one sees that it is simply absurd.

Perhaps a few capoeiristas indeed possess this perversion, but normal human nature doesn’t support these feelings. It’s impossible that there are so many people who enjoy ripping open someone’s belly. So I thought about it, in order to discover the cause of so many stabbings, and then find the appropriate remedy. See if you agree with me.

The capoeirista is human. One of the characteristics of humans is to live in the present age. Now, our age (which is the age of the capoeirista) suffers from something that we might call the eroticism of publicity. Some might think that it is an addiction, others that it is symptomatic of something else, because this condition is natural. But whatever the case, it exists, and it has never reached such a high level as that at which we currently find ourselves.

I’ll be fair – there are times when I think the obsession with publicity is natural. If a person is turning fifty, eating dinner with his family and a few friends, why not make a move to get into the public eye? He could take a trip, perform or receive some miracle, have his pig give birth to a piglet with two heads – any of these things would look good in print, which gives life to much less interesting topics. And seeing one’s name in print is much more satisfying than seeing one’s name in handwriting – it’s more beautiful, clearer, looks good to our eyes, not to mention the eyes of the people who will read it, who will buy the papers. We’ll be famous without losing anything. We aren’t ashamed of living out in the open... there’s more fresh air.

Now we come to the essential point. The capoeirista is in the middle of this like Crébillon (a famous French poet and tragedian) is in matters of theater. If you asked Crébillon why he wrote plays to make one’s hair stand on end, he would respond that there was nothing left for him except the hell in which he found himself. The same thing happens with the capoeirista. He can’t perform spiritual miracles, all his piglets are born with just one head, and he has no other way to engage others with his precious person. So he turns to the navalha (straight razor), he stabs people right and left, certain that the newspapers will publish his deeds and make his name famous.

By now, you’ve probably guessed my remedy: don’t publish anything, forbid the press to cover the capoeiristas’ deeds. As soon as they’re no longer featured in the newspapers, the capoeiristas will get bored and withdraw, and begin working in honest professions.

Then, the authorities could approach them and offer compensatory publicity. Complete victory: they would accept the publicity, and the straight razors would return to the hands of the barbers, being used only to shave the cheeks of us peaceful people. Ex fumo dare lucem. [From smoke, let light break forth]